Female Founders: Nadja Vysotskaya Of ShineUp On The Five Things You Need To Thrive and Succeed as a Woman Founder
Finding the right team is the hardest challenge — and the biggest gift. Talent isn’t just about skill; it’s about trust and heart. I’m deeply proud that ShineUp, though still small, has attracted some of the best developers I could imagine. They believed in the vision when it was just a fragile idea, and that faith has built our foundation.
As a part of our series about Women Founders, we had the pleasure of interviewing Nadja Vysotskaya. Nadja is the CEO and co-founder of ShineUp, an AI-powered relationship training app designed to build emotional resilience and communication skills for love and life. Launching her first startup after age 40, Nadja turned personal hardship into a mission to help others navigate real-world emotional challenges with confidence. ShineUp simulates everyday relationship scenarios — from conflict to emotional support, offering a safe space to practice empathy before real moments occur. Nadja firmly believes that, just like any skill, love can be trained and by doing so, we can reduce unseen pain, rebuild connections, and strengthen families worldwide.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your “backstory”? What led you to this particular career path?
My story isn’t one of smooth ambition or a straight line into entrepreneurship because it began with collapse. For thirteen years I lived in Vienna with my family. From the outside our life might look perfect. My daughter was an athlete with more than thirty medals, my son graduated from the international relations faculty and began a promising career abroad. We had a certain social status, comfort, and recognition. I was proud of the family, and the life we had built.
And then, overnight, it all collapsed. One Christmas night, I was left with almost nothing. The marriage I had invested my entire adult life in fell apart. The home, the stability, the financial security — all gone. I had €1,500 in my account and a teenage daughter by my side. It felt like being dropped from a great height straight onto the ground. I can still remember the fog of those first months — not recognizing faces, struggling to breathe through the shame and disbelief.
It’s strange, but that fall planted a seed. I realized how fragile relationships are — not because of lack of love, but since we don’t know how to maintain them. We don’t practice gratitude, we don’t train to handle conflicts, we don’t prepare for storms. That insight became the basis for ShineUp.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
The most surprising part of ShineUp’s story is how it began. After my marriage ended, I found myself in a completely new reality — alone, starting from scratch, trying to rebuild my life in Vienna.
After months of simply surviving, I forced myself to re-enter the world. I registered on a dating site. Most encounters were dull, some disappointing. But one evening I decided to break the pattern with a playful line: “How much does dinner with you cost?” That small joke started a conversation that shifted my perspective.
At that dinner, I heard words that I’ll never forget: “You already have what it takes to inspire people — why not create something out of it?”
It was almost casual, but it stuck in my head. I thought about my life, how even in my darkest moments I had always found ways to connect, to spark curiosity, to bring out emotion. And I thought: if dating apps help people meet, what about helping them stay together?
That was the beginning of ShineUp — not a dating app, but a relationship trainer. A tool where you can practice real scenarios, arguments, financial stress, emotional support before they destroy a relationship. Because love doesn’t die in grand explosions; it dies in everyday failures to understand each other.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
When I first tried to explain the idea of ShineUp to developers, I had no clue how much I didn’t know. I told them, with all the confidence in my words: “Our backend will be beautiful and user-friendly.” They stared at me in silence, then laughed. Backend, they explained, is not something you call “beautiful.” I wanted to hide under the table. But later I realized — that moment was a gift. It taught me that I didn’t need to pretend. My strength wasn’t in knowing every technical detail, but in holding the vision and finding people who could make it real. Today, I’m proud that despite being a small project, ShineUp has one of the best development teams I could imagine. I see that moment now as symbolic: you don’t have to start perfect. You start clumsy, embarrassed, human, and you grow into the role.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
I wouldn’t be here without my co-founder, Alex. When ShineUp was just an idea, I was full of fear and self-doubt. I had just gone through the most painful personal chapter of my life — a marriage ending, being left with nothing, and starting again in a foreign country. At that time, I couldn’t even imagine myself as a leader, let alone a founder. But he believed when I didn’t. Where I saw only risks, he saw opportunities. Where I trembled, he was calm. His confidence became my anchor. I remember nights when I was ready to give up, convinced no one would ever believe in our idea, and he would simply say, “We’ll figure it out. We’ll build it anyway.” That steady faith gave me the courage to stand up and try again. Even though he prefers to stay behind the scenes and not take the spotlight, his role in ShineUp’s story is impossible to overstate. Sometimes success is not about being fearless, but about having someone who lends you their courage until you grow your own.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. According to this EY report, only about 20 percent of funded companies have women founders. This reflects great historical progress, but it also shows that more work still has to be done to empower women to create companies. In your opinion and experience what is currently holding back women from founding companies?
I’ve experienced it firsthand: harassment, belittling comments, and investors who confuse power with arrogance. I once had an investor promise me funding, only to later withdraw because, as he put it, he was “too important” and I should have treated him differently. It wasn’t about the business, it was about ego. And I was left with the feeling that as a woman, I was being tested on things that had nothing to do with my competence. Beyond that, there are the quieter obstacles: family responsibilities, the judgment about age, the stereotypes of what a woman “should” be doing. The reality is that many women juggle caring for children, aging parents, and households — all while trying to build companies in environments that weren’t designed to support them. That invisible weight holds many brilliant women back.
Can you help articulate a few things that can be done as individuals, as a society, or by the government, to help overcome those obstacles?
I believe change is needed on several levels. On a societal level, we must stop romanticizing the idea that women should sacrifice themselves for everyone else. Ambition is not selfishness. Every time we celebrate women as mothers, caregivers, or wives, we should equally celebrate them as innovators, entrepreneurs, and leaders. On a governmental level, policies around childcare, parental leave, and startup funding must evolve. Founding a company shouldn’t be an option only for those who can afford nannies or have wealthy partners. On an individual level, we all need to call out bias when we see it — whether it’s dismissive comments in boardrooms or investors who judge women differently than men. Silence allows these patterns to endure. And for women themselves, one of the greatest acts of empowerment is solidarity. When one woman rises, she can open the door for others. We need more of that.
This might be intuitive to you as a woman founder but I think it will be helpful to spell this out. Can you share a few reasons why more women should become founders?
Obviously, because balance matters. When women lead, they bring not only innovation but a different style of leadership — one rooted in empathy, resilience, and long-term thinking. Women tend to listen more deeply, to design for the real needs of people, and to manage with collaboration rather than domination. It’s not about saying women are “better” leaders than men, but about creating a global balance where both voices shape the future. Without women founders, half of human experience is missing from the table of innovation.
What are the “myths” that you would like to dispel about being a founder? Can you explain what you mean?
One myth I’d love to dispel is that a woman who has spent years in the kitchen or raising kids can’t lead a startup. Society often treats domestic life as something “smaller” or “easier,” when in reality it is the toughest training ground you can imagine. Running a household requires constant negotiation, managing limited resources, creativity in solving daily challenges, crisis management when things go wrong, and above all — endurance. These are the exact qualities that make great entrepreneurs. If you can survive sleepless nights with a newborn, handle teenage dramas, or keep a family afloat through financial storms, then believe me — you are already practicing the skills that CEOs rely on every single day.
Another myth is that founders are born with some magical gene. The truth is, nobody is born a founder. You don’t wake up one day with a “startup mindset” imprinted in your DNA. You become one through experience — often painful experience — through failures that crush you and through the moments you stand up again. In my case, I never imagined myself as a founder. I didn’t come from a startup background. I was a wife, a mother, a woman who suddenly had to start her life over from nothing. What made me a founder wasn’t some talent I was born with, but the necessity to rebuild, to create, and to turn my pain into something useful for others.
Founders are not superheroes. They are ordinary people who decided to keep going one more day, one more step, even when everything around them said “stop.” That is why I believe entrepreneurship is not about being born for it, it’s about being willing to grow into it. And growth is possible for anyone who has the courage to begin.
Is everyone cut out to be a founder? In your opinion, which specific traits increase the likelihood that a person will be a successful founder and what type of person should perhaps seek a “regular job” as an employee? Can you explain what you mean?
No — and that’s okay. Not everyone should be. Being a founder means waking up every day in uncertainty, living with rejection, and carrying a weight that most people never see. It’s not glamorous. It’s nights without sleep, it’s questioning your own sanity, it’s watching doors slam in your face and still knocking on the next one.
But here’s the nuance: the qualities that make a founder successful — resilience, adaptability, courage — are not fixed traits. They are trainable, like muscles. I wasn’t born resilient; life forced me to become resilient. After losing everything — my marriage, financial stability, even the sense of who I was, I had no choice but to rebuild. At that moment, it wasn’t strength I had, it was survival. And with survival came growth.
Even in my daughter’s journey as an athlete, I saw the same truth. She had a promising sports career, with medals and recognition, until injuries forced her to step away. It was heartbreaking — yet she found a way to pivot, to transform that discipline and energy into new paths. Watching her taught me that setbacks are not endings; they are transitions. And business is no different.
So no, not everyone is cut out for it at the beginning. But if the desire is strong enough, if the will to transform pain into purpose is there, then people can grow into it. Founders aren’t born — they are forged.
What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why?
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It always takes longer than you think. What you dream will happen in six months may take two years — and that’s still progress. Patience is part of the journey.
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Finding the right team is the hardest challenge — and the biggest gift. Talent isn’t just about skill; it’s about trust and heart. I’m deeply proud that ShineUp, though still small, has attracted some of the best developers I could imagine. They believed in the vision when it was just a fragile idea, and that faith has built our foundation.
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Success and failure are twins. They often arrive together, on the same day. You may get a rejection email in the morning and a breakthrough meeting in the evening. You learn to embrace both as part of the same road.
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Always have a Plan B. Life rarely goes as scripted. Watching my daughter’s sports career end due to injuries reminded me of this. She had to pivot, and it hurt, but she also discovered new possibilities. Startups are no different. You must always be ready to reimagine, to pivot, to begin again.
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You will work harder than you ever imagined. Beyond your limits, beyond your comfort, beyond what feels possible. And yet, the next morning, you’ll need to get up and do it again. That’s the real price of building something that matters.
How have you used your success to make the world a better place?
For me, ShineUp is not only an app. It’s a way to transform personal pain into something useful, something healing. I know what it feels like to watch a family collapse, to lose stability, to stand in the ruins of what once seemed unshakable. No book or therapist prepared me for that reality. And I thought — what if we could prepare? What if people could train for relationships the way they train for careers, sports, or exams? That’s what ShineUp does. It uses AI to simulate real-life scenarios: conflict with a partner, moments of emotional exhaustion, situations where someone you love needs support. Instead of falling apart in the heat of the moment, users can practice in a safe space. They learn to respond with empathy, to manage conflicts with clarity, to give energy when their partner is drained. If even a few couples avoid breaking apart because they’ve practiced handling these challenges, if more children grow up in stable homes where parents know how to listen and support one another, then ShineUp is making the world better. That is what drives me every day.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
I would inspire a movement around training for relationships the same way we train for everything else. We prepare for math exams, for business negotiations, for marathons. We hire coaches for careers and fitness. But the hardest, most important role of all — being a partner, building a family — we are left to improvise. No wonder so many people break under the pressure.
What if empathy, conflict-resolution, and communication were taught as core life skills? What if relationship training was as normal as going to the gym? I believe this could reduce divorce rates, strengthen families, and lessen the silent pain carried by millions of people. This is the movement I dream about: a world where we practice love and understanding with the same seriousness as we practice success. Because in the end, what matters most is not what we build outside, but what we build inside our relationships.
We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them.
It would be Warren Buffett. He has long been supportive of women founders and female-led companies. His clarity of thought, his humility despite immense success, and his willingness to back women entrepreneurs make him someone I deeply admire. I would love to hear his perspective on how women can navigate not just funding, but building enduring companies in a world that often underestimates them.
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.